a few thoughts…

first of all, i decided that this winter break i am not going to go on facebook at all when i go to bed. i kind of have that habit when i’m on breaks from school. i just veg in bed and bum around on facebook. there’s really nothing wrong with it, i guess. but, it has this strange way of making me feel depressed or judgmental because i compare myself to other people and compare my life to others’ lives. i think it’s just unhealthy and ultimately a waste of time. so, instead of getting on facebook in the evening, i’m going to… READ! amazing, huh? i think so. reading. wow. i think it’s a grand idea.

also, i’ve been thinking a lot about life lately. what life is. what life should be. i’ve been thinking about careers, marriage, relationships. all the big, important life things. sometimes i want this amazingly perfect life. this is what it would look like: i would teach high school theater and in my spare time write and record my own music and be in plays and shows on stage. i would of course have the perfect husband (because i’ve spent vast amounts of time dating many different guys and picked the most perfect one out of the bunch) and then have the most perfect two children, one boy and one girl. i would have the most precious house ever, and my husband and i would make enough money to support our family and enough to support missions and world vision children and be able to go on bi-yearly trips to europe. and my husband and i would, of course, have plenty of time to spend with each other because we’ve prioritized our time so perfectly.

perfect.

but, ya know, i don’t think life ever works that way. i don’t know exactly how life is supposed to go. but, i don’t think it is ever perfect, nor what anyone ever plans.

sometimes my thoughts are really all over the place. and i can’t make a whole lot of sense out of them. but, maybe that’s ok. i don’t really know how to end this.

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